The words you don't want to lose
A birthday, a date, a memory. Write what you would have wanted to say, and choose the day you'll read it back.
This page won't tell you how to grieve. Capsül does one thing: it keeps words until the date you choose, then hands them back to you by email on that day. The messages below can be used as they are, or ignored.
The anniversary date
Write today, read it back on their birthday. Every year.
What I never said
The words there was no time for. They exist anyway.
For the family
Everyone writes a memory. You open them together, on a date you choose.
A year from now
Write to the person you'll be next year. Without promising them anything.
Who do you write to?
To the person who's gone, to yourself, or to someone who knew them. None of these is better than the others.
Writing to someone who won't read it feels strange until you try. The letter isn't there to tell them anything. It's there to set down somewhere the thing that goes round in your head at night, or the last conversation that wasn't really one.
Writing to yourself is something else. You describe where you are, without tidying it up. Nobody knows what you'll feel on the day the message arrives. The message doesn't need to know either.
And there are the ones left behind. A child too young to remember their grandfather, for instance. A precise memory, written down now, can reach them at an age when they start asking questions.
Which date should you choose?
A date that already means something, or a day with nothing special about it at all. Their birthday has the advantage of being a day you'll be thinking about them anyway. Some people prefer a Tuesday in March, so the words turn up on an ordinary day.
Once a capsül is sealed, it can't be edited or deleted. If you're unsure, let your text sit somewhere else for a few days before you send it.
For more general advice on writing, this guide may help. And if you're wondering why people have done this for so long, this article covers it.
What can you write?
Whatever you want to say, at whatever length. Here are three messages for three different situations. Take what helps, leave the rest.
Dad, You'd have been 71 today. I bought the walnut loaf from the bakery on Station Road, out of habit, and ate it in the car park. I've kept your answerphone message. "You've reached Alan, I'm in the garden." I listen to it less than I did. I don't know if that's a good thing. The cherry tree came good this year. Loads. You'd have been cursing the blackbirds. Rachel
It's you, a year ago. You weren't sleeping. You don't have to be feeling better to read this. You just promised you'd write.
Ollie, You're 4 as I write this. Your grandad Ken died in March, and you still ask me whether he's "on a long holiday". You won't remember him, so I'm giving him to you in writing. He called you "the foreman" because you kept an eye on everyone in the garden. He let you drive the lawnmower, switched off, for hours. He put too much sugar on your cornflakes when I wasn't looking, and I pretended not to see. You're 12 now. If you have questions about him, I'm here. Even the ones you don't dare ask. Mum
Common questions
How do you write a letter to someone who has died?
Write as if you were talking to them on the phone, not giving a speech. Details matter more than big sentences: a habit, a word they kept using. Nothing says it has to end on a peaceful note. A letter can stop in the middle of a thought, and that isn't a failure.
Can you schedule a message for the anniversary of a death?
Yes. You pick the exact day. Without buying anything, it can be up to 180 days ahead; with a pack, up to ten years, and extensions go further, as far as fifty. The message arrives by email on that day. You can send it to yourself, or to several people in the family from the first pack upwards.
Can I edit or delete the message after sending it?
No. A sealed capsül stays as it is: nobody can edit or delete it. That's deliberate. The message stays exactly as you wrote it that day, with what you knew and felt at that moment. Only the recipients you chose receive the link to read it.
What happens on the day the message arrives?
The day before, an email tells you the capsül opens tomorrow. On the day you chose, a second email gives you the link to read it. You don't have to open it that day: it stays available afterwards, and Capsül sends no more than three reminders while it hasn't been opened. There's no rush.