Letter to Your Future Self: How to Write It (With Examples)

Writing a letter to your future self is not a gimmicky self-help exercise. Researchers have shown that, to our brain, the person we will be in ten years looks more like a stranger than like ourselves. A well-written letter is precisely a way to close that gap, as long as you avoid the list of resolutions you'll reread with an awkward smile.

A letter to your future self is a message you address to yourself today, to be read in one, five or ten years. The idea is simple, the execution much less so: most people get stuck on the first sentence, or write three generic lines that will mean nothing to them on the day they open it.

Why your future self is a stranger

Because your brain treats them as one.

In 2009, Hal Ersner-Hershfield and his colleagues at Stanford used brain imaging to observe participants as they thought about themselves, then about themselves in ten years, then about other people. For many of them, thinking about their future self activated the brain in a way closer to thinking about someone else than to thinking about themselves. And those with the biggest gap were also the ones who most often chose a small sum now over a larger one later.

Two years later, the same team showed participants an aged image of themselves. Afterwards, they put more money into a fictional retirement account than those who had seen their current face.

A letter does the same job, with words instead of a picture.

What research says about letters to the future

In 2021, psychologists Yuta Chishima and Anne Wilson asked students to write to their future self, then to write the reply, as if their future self were writing back. The result: a stronger sense of continuity with their future, and better thinking about their studies and career. In another study run during the Covid-19 pandemic, the same letter exchange reduced participants' negative emotions.

There is also the pleasure of rediscovery, which we systematically underestimate: a Harvard team showed in 2014 that rereading ordinary details from our past moves us much more than we expect (we explain it in our article on the letter for an 18th birthday).

My take: the real benefit doesn't come on the day you open the letter. It comes on the day you write it. The opening is the bonus.

How to write a letter to your future self

Start with the present, not the future.

Describe your life today, in detail

Where you live, who with, what you do with your days, what's on your mind this week. Your rent, the series you're watching, the last person you spoke to. These details seem uninteresting now. In five years, they'll be the most precious.

Write down what worries you and what you hope for

Name one specific fear and one specific hope. Not “be happy”, but rather “have left this job before 35” or “have started exercising again”. Your future self will be able to check. And discover that the fear never came true, or that it did and you got through it.

Ask questions rather than give orders

“Do you still want to move abroad?” is better than “You must move abroad.” A question opens a conversation. An order sets up a disappointment.

Three examples of letters to your future self

In one year

“Hi. It's 28 September, it's 10 pm and I've just finished an exhausting week. I wonder if you finally found the courage to talk to your manager about that project. If so, tell me how it went. If not, that's fine, but ask yourself why. By the way, right now I'm listening to the same album on repeat and eating too much pasta.”

In five years

“Today I'm 30 and I feel behind on everything. You know better than me: was that true? I hope you've kept today's friends, especially Julien and Sarah. I'm afraid of becoming someone who never has time. If that's the case, put down your phone and call someone.”

In ten years

“I'm writing to you from a 40 m² flat where the heating makes a strange noise. I don't know where you live, or who with. I just want you to remember tonight: I feel good, for once, for no particular reason. If your life is more complicated today, keep this evening somewhere. It existed.”

When to open it, and how not to forget it

One year is the right length for a first letter; five years for a real surprise.

After a year, you still remember writing it, but you'll be surprised by how much has moved. After five or ten years, the letter reads as if it came from someone else. Pick a date that means something: your birthday, 1 January if you want to turn it into a resolutions ritual, or the anniversary of an important moment.

The real risk is forgetting. A paper letter in a drawer gets lost with the first house move, and a note in your phone gets reread on a sleepless night. A sealed capsül can't be opened before the chosen date and arrives by email on the right day: that's what a capsül to your future self is for. The free version allows a capsül of up to six months; for longer, see the pricing page. Whatever the medium, keep a copy somewhere.

On the day you open it, you probably won't remember being that person. That's exactly why it deserves to be written tonight. Write my letter to my future self.

Frequently asked questions

Should you speak to your future self directly?

Yes, most of the time. Addressing your future self directly makes the letter more natural, as if you were writing to a close friend. Some people prefer “we”, to stress that it's the same person. There's no rule, only what feels sincere to you.

How long should you wait before opening the letter?

One year for a first letter: long enough to be surprised, short enough to stay motivated. Five or ten years for a real shift in perspective. Many people combine both, with a short letter at one year and a longer one at five.

Can you reread your letter before the date?

On paper, nothing stops you, and that's exactly the problem. A sealed digital capsül can't be opened before the chosen date: the temptation disappears.

What if rereading the letter makes me uncomfortable?

That's normal, and even a good sign: it means you've changed. Reread it a second time a few days later. The awkwardness often gives way to tenderness for the person you were.